Another Year, my 27th: A New Light
Another year down - my 26th on planet Earth - so now, it is time to embark on year 27.
Year twenty-six was a year of tests, trials, tribulations and most-of-all; A year of facing odds straight-up, face-to-face.
The golfing legend, Arnold Palmer once said: “I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win”
Before turning twenty-six I lost my best-friend: My Grandfather. A man who taught me more about myself than anyone else ever has. He taught me how to treat people. Sometimes I had to go through his old-fashioned ways, but that is how I preferred it. A blunt and indirect man in the same breath. Dark days approached after losing him.
I have been lucky enough to have had several rocks along my path. My mother, father, sister, grandmothers and most importantly my son; all lit a very nebulous room for me.
I commenced to 2011 with goals and steadfast determination, the goal; To reach who I - and my grandfather - had always envisioned myself becoming.
Midway through 2011; another setback. This time, it was not death but you could not have told me that then. A personal loss of a relationship I had known for over four years ended; the relationship that created my beautiful son Kabriel, gone. Darkness creeped closer.
So the allegory of my life goes - like, I am sure, many of you reading this - worse followed bad which followed good. Rinse and repeat.
On the up and up, I purchased a house - my first - in a cozy section of southern Americana. Overjoyed at the blossoming age of 25 I had been blessed enough to be able to purchase my first home. Like most times - in all of our lives - we usually miss the blessings. I did at least.
Grandfather, woman I loved, house I bought, daily fun-filled adventures with a growing child; All gone.
I had decisions to make this past year.
When I was diagnosed with depression, for which I was treated, I met the gloomy, dark, benumbed and companionless aperture I had only read about in books; A place I never knew existed. Never had that quandary before, I never knew what that was like for people who claimed to be going through it. I glossed over it; possibly, maybe what you are doing right now.
Displaced and alone I had a decision to make. Either allow the darkness overcome my soul and allow myself to be buried, or bury myself spiritually, emotionally; with positive thoughts, new ambitions and goals. I chose the latter.
I very easily could have went a different way. I could have chosen the dark and secluded road to nowhere, it would have been a cinch, a snap of the fingers. “Go away” I said, “Who would notice?”.
The day that thrust me into choosing the latter - of credence; and a new life - was a day I came by the cozy abode I once called home - a place etched in my heart; a place that then resembled sadness - when Kabriel - “lil’ dude” I call him - said without prevocation; “I’m glad you came back”. There is was. That is all it took.
A three-year-old, able to verbalize his happiness to see me. The rest they say, is history.
Year twenty-seven - I know - will be the best of them all. I have faced it all, and more than I have divulged in this therapeutic disquisition.
I have taken the steps needed, not only personal growth, but professional as well.
What I hold inside of me is an ebullient spirit; determined to be the best father I can be, transfixed on being the man that I know how to be, resolute in my belief that there is someone out there for me and finally, making sure my spirit is good and ready to be on the first train home.
Thank you for your time, I appreciate your attentiveness.
Remember, your days are only as dark as you allow them to be.
Find a light. I did.
“Everyone in the Stanford Football family is deeply saddened by the passing of Chester McGlockton,” said Bradford M. Freeman Director of Football David Shaw (Head Coach)
“For the past two seasons, Chester has been a valuable member of our football staff and a wonderful friend to us all. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Chester’s wife Zina and their two children.” Jim Young
Senior Assistant Athletic Director/Communications & Media Relations